The Best Video Game Character Ever

Posted by on September 4, 2013 in Uncategorized | Comments Off


This about sums it up.

As if the producers at EA Sports needed to hype up the release of the latest Madden anymore, credit has to be given to the marketing team for this year’s Madden 25. How can you further sell a game that doesn’t need to be sold? Even McDonald’s had to create different menu options to appeal to soccer moms.

What the Madden team did this year to build up to the release of the game — marking the 25th anniversary of the franchise — was select the All-Madden 25 team: the best players at every position in the history of the game.

It’s a thought-provoking idea for anyone who’s played more than three seasons of the game and you’d suppose that the marketing team and CEO who OK’d this wanted people to engage in some sort of discussion in the aftermath of their release of the All-Madden 25 team.

But, all this did was make our team think of perhaps the most overlooked video game character ever, one who could arguably be placed at the No. 1 spot.

It’s not Michael Vick in Madden 2004 or Tecmo Bo Jackson, both of whom have been widely accepted as two of the best pixelated athletes ever.

It’s a guy who goes by just one name: Paste.

Like LeBron or Kobe or Madonna or McLovin’ this guy doesn’t need two names for you to know who he is. He was the best fake baseball player ever, created on the team Jersey in Nintendo’s Bases Loaded.

Since the game came out in the late 1980′s Paste’s 60 home runs seemed incredible at the time and were a deferred nod to Roger Maris that he was not the all-time home run champ. Although if you were to play 162 games — or even 154 — with Jersey, Paste would probably hit 162 (or 154) home runs. He was good for at least one a game.

On top of that Paste’s other eye-popping stat was his .467 batting average. Those stats are seared into our heads because you always did a double-take when playing the game.

Holy crap – that’s not real is it?

If Paste didn’t hit a 500-foot home run, he was drilling line drives off the outfield walls. In the rare event he made an out you were allowed to slam your controller down in disgust/disbelief because it shouldn’t be possible. Furthermore, Paste was one of the few players in the game who would charge the mound, a revolutionary game development akin to Blades of Steel when they allowed players to fight.

How good was Paste? Good enough to get his own T-shirt despite being 100% fake.

(If there was one drawback to Paste, it was that your buddies would purposely try to drill him in the neck so he would charge the mound and get ejected.)

Perhaps because he is not based off of a real athlete like Tecmo Bo, Vick, Jeremy Roenick in NHL ’95 or Reggie Jackson in R.B.I. Baseball, Paste gets lost in the shuffle.

Hell, he’s even got his own Twitter account.

However, there is little doubt about how much a video game player dominated a game like Paste did.