The Top-10 Sports Movie Villains
March is Movie Month here at Throwback Attack where we revisit some sports classics, create lists and remind everyone of some of the best – and worst – sports movies.
Every movie protagonist has his counterpart, his antithesis, the person you root against. It’s like your favorite team’s rival. You don’t want to see them win.
So, consider this list like most of America thinks about the Yankees or the Cowboys – if they win, everyone else loses.
The Top-10 Sports Movie Villains:
10. Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
One of the few villains who actually comes out on top in a sports movie. And even though he is portrayed as a villain, how can you really root against Bill Murray, his amazing commercials to “help” kids (ripped off by Peyton Manning and SNL, by the way) or his combover that never ends. Didn’t he just want you to call him Big Ern?
Evil quote: “Hi … Not you … Hi.”
9. White Goodman, Dodgeball
Shockingly the character was a little over the top in everything he did but you have to wonder if that is because it was written that way or if it’s because Ben Stiller was the actor?
Evil quote: “We’re better than you … and we know it!”
8. Ogie Oglethorpe, Slap Shot
The most feared player in the game, “the worst goon in hockey.” We don’t see Oglethrop until the final game because … well, because he’s been in jail.
Evil quote: “This young man has had a very trying rookie season, with the litigation, the notoriety, his subsequent deportation to Canada and that country’s refusal to accept him.”
7. Bud Kilmer, Varsity Blues
One of the few reasons to ever root for James Vanderbeek. Because he rallies an entire team to overthrow this old codger of a coach who is still clinging to a long-ago legacy that was built on false premises.
Evil quote: “Your daddy was a no-talent pussy but at least he listened!”
6. Roy Turner, Bad News Bears
The turning point in disliking Turner and despising him comes when he walks out to the mound and smacks his own son.
Evil quote: “Throw the ball, Joey!”
5. Shooter McGavin, Happy Gilmore
Let’s see … he recycles awful jokes, purchases homes out of spite and pays people to come heckle his opponents. Seems like a stand-up guy. He would rank higher if you didn’t think you could knock him out with one punch.
Evil quote: “You’re in big trouble little pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.”
4. Johnny Lawrence, Karate Kid
The headband that was tucked underneath the California golden locks only painted a picture of douche-baggery that was Johnny Lawrence. From hunting down Daniel-san on the beach and making it a point of kicking his ass at every opportunity, you were more than happy that he never put LaRusso in a bodybag.
Evil quote: “Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy, sir!”
3. Judge Elihu Smails, Caddyshack
An old, crotchety man who is the most exclusionary in an exclusive club, he tells racist jokes, doesn’t relate well to people and has no sense of humor. You know people like this. You hate people like this. That’s why Ted Knight nailed this character.
Evil quote: “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.”
2. Rachel Phelps, Major League
Everyone knows about a penny-pinching owner. You see it around sports all the time and nobody wins because of it. But Phelps goes further than Frank McCourt, Donald Sterling and the Maloofs ever could imagine.
Evil quote: “You’re just lucky I can still afford to pay your salary.”
1. Drago, Rocky IV
Of all the bad guys that Rocky must go through in all of the Rocky movies (how many now? Six? Seven?) Drago was easily the most hated. Americans were still leery of Russia when this movie came out and Drago embodied all the stereotypes that Americans had about Russians. Then there was the montage that hammered the point home: Drago was fake, produced in a lab whereas Rocky was all hard work and grit. ‘Merica!
Evil quote: “I must break you.”